To Live Again
by Christina B
Summary: During his exile on Tatooine, ObiWan finally contacts QuiGon for the first time. IT One Shot Vignette


Disclaimer: I don't own Obi-Wan or Qui-Gon, though I like to imagine that I do. They both belong to George Lucas…the lucky man.

Over at the JC Forums I was given a very interesting challenge and I decided to put my response over here as well.

Here is the challenge: Write a short story with Obi-Wan on Tatooine. Luke is still a baby and Obi-Wan contacts his old Master, Qui-Gon for the first time since Yoda taught him how to do it. Words to use: failed, argument, hate, patience.

**To Live Again**

The man formerly known as Obi-Wan Kenobi, looked out upon the desert sands of the planet Tatooine while deep in thought. From the moment he first arrived on this dusty planet, his felt such incredible sorrow. A pain so deep it seemed to go straight through to his bones. Obi-Wan didn't want to think about Anakin, looking at him with such hate on the planet Mustafar. Yet he had nightmares about it every night.

Obi-Wan was spending his exile on Tatooine for only one reason, it was his duty to watch over young Luke Skywalker, Anakin's son. He would go to any lengths to keep young Luke safe, for he honored the memory of a great friend and his wife. Obi-Wan would do his best to help Luke in anyway he could, for he knew at some point the boy would have to finally come face to face with his father. Or rather the shell of a man that Luke's father had become. 

The Jedi turned and entered his lowly shelter. He was grateful to have it, but he was past the point of caring for his own comfort. The loneliness of this barren world seemed to strike at his heart. After being surrounded all his life by people he cared for; to suddenly not have them around anymore was extremely hard for Obi-Wan to adjust to. There was one Jedi in particular though; one that Obi-Wan missed the most.

Obi-Wan knew he had the ability to talk to Qui-Gon again, and the knowledge comforted him. He was just concerned, what would his Master say to him? Obi-Wan knew he had made such grave mistakes, not noticing his former Padawan going to the Dark Side being the most grave. Obi-Wan felt he wasn't the Master he could've been, and that Qui-Gon would be gravely disappointed in him. 

For a long time Obi-Wan sat in quiet contemplation. He knew he needed to contact his Master, and he longed to do it. He couldn't put it off; it was time. After all these long years he would finally speak with Qui-Gon again.

Remembering Yoda's lesson, Obi-Wan cleared his mind and went into a meditative state. He reached out through the Force and waited, he now was open to communicating with Qui-Gon.

"Padawan," he heard resounding through his mind. There was only one person it could be, Obi-Wan felt tears to stringing his eyes but he held it back and took a few shaky breaths. 

"Master---Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan said in his mind. Overwhelmed, he felt the remainders of the Master-Padawan bond they had once shared. It had not been totally severed like he'd always thought it was. Or perhaps by talking once again the bond was once more created.

"Yes Obi-Wan, I am here," Qui-Gon answered.

Obi-Wan almost didn't know what to say to Qui-Gon. Where do you start when talking with someone who has been dead over a decade?

"I've missed you, Master," said Obi-Wan. 

"As I've missed you, Padawan. I know that you were hesitant about speaking to me," Qui-Gon said calmly.

"I was hesitant because it was all my fault," Obi-Wan answered, his heart feeling so very heavy. "You entrusted me to train him." He couldn't bring himself to speak Anakin's name.

Obi-Wan felt his sadness threatening to overpower him as he spoke the last words to his beloved Master. "And I failed, Qui-Gon. I failed you."

For a long moment Qui-Gon was silent. Then, right when Obi-Wan thought his Master had left, he spoke again.

"Obi-Wan, you can't blame yourself for Anakin's decisions."

Obi-Wan was confused, Qui-Gon put such faith in Anakin being the "Chosen One" and having to be trained as a Jedi.

"But Master, if I would have listened to what my feelings were telling me, then I might have stopped him," Obi-Wan answered.

"You were blinded by your love and friendship for him. The Order was blinded by their faith that the Prophecy would be fulfilled by Anakin. No one foresaw this happening, as no one was looking for it," Qui-Gon answered calmly.

"We should have realized this was a ploy by the Sith in the beginning. Dooku even told me there was a Sith controlling the Senate. I wish I would have taken his words at face value," Obi-Wan said regretfully.

"You live in your regrets, Obi-Wan. You must learn to live again," answered Qui-Gon.

"How can I do that Master? The fought on Mustafar haunts me daily," Obi-Wan said sadly.

"You know as well as I that only time and patience can make the pain go away. You must let go, Obi-Wan. Live in the present and let go of the pain of your past. For there is one more thing you must remember," Qui-Gon said.

"And what might that be?"

"Luke. The last hope we have, the one who could restore peace to the galaxy. Those lost will always be remembered and honored, should this child fix the wrongs his father created."

Obi-Wan was still battling to overcome his emotions. The memory of Qui-Gon's death was brought to the surface of his mind, despite Obi-Wan's attempts to shake it off. The grief always hurt, he never truly got over the shock of seeing the horned Sith take his Master's life while he was helplessly trapped behind a wall.

"It was my time, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said quietly.

"Master, if I was only quicker; if I hadn't been trapped behind that wall then... I should have been at your side," Obi-Wan said regretfully.

"It was the will of the Force, I was meant to die that day. You were meant to train Anakin, not me." Qui-Gon said, trying to comfort Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan sighed. He didn't want to believe what his Master was telling him. He always felt he was to blame. He knew it would be hard to let that guilt go, but he had to try; Qui-Gon was asking him to.

"I still wish it had not ended that way," he finally managed.

"Regardless, it has. You became a great Jedi Obi-Wan. Now you must truly act like one and set your emotions flee," Qui-Gon said.

Obi-Wan knew Qui-Gon was right; he had to believe it. The hollowness he felt inside these last torturous months needed to be filled. He still had a job to do; Luke would eventually need to be trained. Obi-Wan would have to become a whole person again if he were to train him.

"And I will always help you, Padawan," Qui-Gon added.

Obi-Wan's heart felt lighter than it had in a long time. "And Master, I will always seek your guidance," Obi-Wan said with a smile. Something he hadn't done in such a very long time. Obi-Wan could now learn to live again, for his Master would always be there for him.


End file.
